


To Find You

by Emma_Anacortes



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Child Abuse, Gen, Hurt Peter, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Precious Peter Parker, So don't worry, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Uncle Ben is a bad guy but I don't really think he's bad it's just cause I want to write a story, this is not for the faint of heart, this is so AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-14 10:52:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14134578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emma_Anacortes/pseuds/Emma_Anacortes
Summary: So apparently Tony's got a kid. And apparently everyone's out to get said kid. Hydra wants to use him to get to Tony, his uncle likes beating on him, and the kids at school are cruel and hurtful.All right, so his son needs a little protecting. That shouldn't be too hard. The boy's adorable. Plus, his dad is Iron Man.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm at it again. I had another idea.
> 
> This is pretty much totally AU. Kinda. So like, it's after Civil War for Tony. But he's never met Peter, who is only twelve in this story. And Peter isn't Spiderman. He's just a normal kid right now, living in Queens. So, yeah. Let me know if your interest is spiked and if I should continue. I know it's short, just cause it's the first one. Party on my peeps.

_Peter Parker’s arm was throbbing. It ached so much that he couldn’t sleep. So, he sat on the roof of his apartment complex, staring at the sky instead. He usually got hurt if Ben was ever angry. Sometimes he could avoid him, but tonight he hadn’t been quick enough._

_He’d heard kids and teachers at school talk about the stars. They said you couldn’t see many of them in New York City because the lights were too bright. In reality, there were thousands and thousands of stars in the sky. Some of them were even shooting stars that streaked across the expanse of space. He’d never seen one of those. One of his teachers had told the class that if you see a shooting star, you get a free wish._

_That’s why he liked to watch for one. Because he had a wish all ready to go. Some nights he would whisper it to himself, just in case he missed the star while blinking._

_His voice was soft and trembling. “I wish someone kind could find me and take me away from here. I wish someone could find me.”_

_*_

Loneliness.

It _does_ things to people. It can be felt physically in the form of a twisting stomach. It can make a life seem meaningless. It can make you seem meaningless.

Tony Stark realized one day that he’d always been lonely. It was in his early thirties, during one of his drunken nights. He reflected back on his closed off childhood, the empty college days, and flighty twenties. Part of the lack of people in his life had just come since he was born, and some was self-inflicted. But as he sat, nearly plastered with alcohol, against the wall of his balcony, he felt that loneliness pulse inside him. God, he wanted someone. Someone that was real family – someone that was _his._

That’s why, when he received a call one day after the battle between the Avengers, explaining the existence of his son, a flutter of joy burst inside.

*

“A son?”

_No way._

“Yes. Tony – are you all right?”

_Never better._

“Definitely a boy?”

_What was he like? Was he smart?_

“Maybe you should sit down, man –”

_A son. Of his very own._

“I can’t believe it – how –”

“Tony we actually have a big problem here. Your enemies have uncovered this information to _hurt_ you –”

“What’s his name?”

“His – what?” Rhodey gave Tony a surprised look. They stood in the kitchen of Tony’s apartment at the tower. Rhodes was antsy, Tony curious. “You want his _name_? Did you hear what I just said?”

Tony shrugged. “Isn’t practically everyone in the world trying to uncover shit about me? Not new information. The son thing, however – _that’s_ new –”

Rhodey shook his head, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “God, Tony. You are the most unpredictable person on the planet. I thought you’d be freaking out.”

“What?” Tony yelped. He mocked being hurt. “You have no faith in me.”

“Whatever. This isn’t scaring you? At all?”

“Well, not right now. You know, maybe at two in the morning tonight, after I down a bottle of vodka I’ll have one of my emotional breakdowns –”

Rhodes clearly didn’t like that comment. His face became a little pinched. “Not funny, Tony.”

Tony made a spastic motion with his hand, brushing off any problems he’d let creep to the surface. He allowed a stagnant silence to pulse over the two friends until he paid enough attention to notice the manila envelope curled in Rhodes’ hand.

He pointed, “What’s that?”

“Huh?” Rhodey blinked. He held up the envelope. “This? It’s – well – it’s –” Letting out a small sigh he gave Tony a slightly pitying look. “It’s some of his information.”

A heavy rush of multiple emotions flew all throughout Tony. Fear, confusion, worry, self-loathing – and a strong, heavy longing. That longing was strong enough to make him extend a slightly shaky hand.

Rhodes looked like he didn’t want to give it up. “Tony –”

“Please?” Tony whispered.

“Are you sure? I’m worried about this. You might not be able to get involved with him –”

“I know. Just – please?”

Slowly, Rhodey slid the envelope into Tony’s fingers. He felt it between the tips, practically sensing the plethora of information that was so close.

There was a birth certificate inside, which was real, authentic. It belonged to an actual person.

“Peter,” Tony whispered. Rhodey bit a lip.

He was twelve. He was in the sixth grade. He was born in Queens.

Then a picture slid out.

Tony gaped.

“Holy shit,” He breathed. “Rhodey – he – he –”

“I know, man –”

Tony held the picture up close to his face. In it was a small boy, wavy hair falling all over his face. Shockingly large and brown eyes glinted and gapped teeth were grinning. Tony smiled a little.

“He looks _just like me.”_

*

_“Dad, I don’t like it. Please just let me stay here.”_

_Howard Stark let out a long sigh of annoyance and disappointment. Little ten-year-old Tony winced at the sound, even though he’d heard it many times. It made his throat burn._

_He wondered all the time if his dad really cared about him at all. It was as if Tony never did anything right and never made the man happy. He saw other kids with their parents. They often hugged and smiled at each other. Never once had Howard ever hugged Tony. At least, not that he could remember. He’d never said ‘I love you’ either. He hadn’t even said ‘I like Tony’ or ‘I like my son’. Tony pushed it down most days, but in all honesty – Howard’s actions hurt more than he could ever describe._

_His father turned to face Tony, who stood in the bedroom doorway. “You have to come. They expect the entire family to be there. You know this. I’ve_ explained _this to you a thousand times. When will you get it through your thick –”_

_Tony talked over him, almost desperately. “I know, I know! But they never leave me alone – not all night!” Howard set his jaw and walked closer to Tony. “It scares me dad –”_

_“Oh, shut up –”_

_“It scares me! It does! I don’t like –”_

_Howard got right up in Tony’s face and placed one hand on the door. “You don’t like it?” He raised his voice louder. “Then I suggest you suck it the fuck up and be a man, Tony. Fucking suck it up.”_

_Ice cold anguish washed down Tony’s entire body. Involuntary tears rose in his eyes. At the sight of tears, Howard let out a merciless groan._

_Then he slammed the door in his son’s face._

*

Pepper tapped her foot rapidly against the tile floor. Tony sat on the couch in front of her like a teenager being scolded. Rhodey was seated next to his friend, the metal braces on his legs creaking with movement.

Tony twiddled his thumbs and raised his eyebrows at them both. “So – what did I do this time?”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “It’s what you _want_ to do.” She paced back and forth. Tony’s eyes followed her. “I’ve been thinking about this all day. There is absolutely no way you can go meet this child.”

“I didn’t say –”

“He’s been living in Queens his entire life, it could do more harm than good to change everything – “

“But I didn’t say –”

“Plus,” Rhodey added. “It could be dangerous for him to meet you. We’re worried he could be used – ”

“ _Listen!”_ Tony pressed his opinion in, frustrated with not being able to speak. “I never said I wanted to go meet him, I never said I was going to get involved.”

There was a stillness in the room. Pepper and Rhodey exchanged a glance and then looked back at Tony.

“But,” Tony continued. “I mean – I’ve got a kid. You just told me I have a kid. I’m going to go see him. I’m going to go by his place and just – just see what he looks like and make sure he’s okay.”

It was insane, Tony thought to himself. Insane that just this morning, he hadn’t even known this boy existed. And now that he did, it was as if the life he’d lived before was like a dream. All the things that used to be important paled next to the little kid living in Queens. There was no way he couldn’t go by and see him for himself. No way at all.

Rhodey gave a short nod. He seemed strained. “All right.”

Tony let out a grateful breath.

“I’ll go with you, Tones.”

*

Peter hated it.

The noise.

It seemed as if that’s all his apartment ever contained. Noise. And not the good kind either. Not the noise of people laughing or good music blasting or people enjoying each other. No, it was always screaming, slamming, breaking, sometimes crying. So much unhappy noise. It seemed to seep right into Peter’s bones, hurting his heart and wearing him down.

When he leapt listlessly down the front steps to his building, it was with relief at finally being free for a few hours. His uncle had been drinking all night, and there was nothing worse than being home when he was under the influence.

With his backpack dragging practically down to his thighs, and sneakers squeaking against the freshly rained on pavement, he breathed the air in deeply. The walk to school was long, but he didn’t exactly mind. Any time out of the house was better time, plus in science today they were building trebuchets. The thought brought a little spring to his step.

As he waited out the passing cars to cross the street, he noticed a particularly sleek one parallel parked along the sidewalk. He stopped for a moment to admire it, having never seen such a car in his life. The windows were tinted completely black. Peter tilted his head at their absolute opaqueness. A swooping feeling rose in his stomach.

Frowning at his mild unease, he backed away from the car and continued down the gray sidewalk and past the dingy complexes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Child abuse. This story is about child abuse, it's gonna be a theme all throughout. Please be wary if that's a lot for you.   
> Love you guys :) Your comments make me SO happy!

Tony couldn’t stop moving. His hands twisted in his lap, and his knee jiggled up and down. He kept biting down hard on his lip, then letting it go. Seated next to him in the car was Rhodey, who would side eye him every few minutes.

Finally, his friend let out an irritated noise. “Tony. _Chill.”_

“ _You_ chill,” Tony retorted childishly, keeping his eyes trained on the outside.

“I _am_ completely chill.”

“Your face is completely chill.”

“Wow. Okay. Didn’t realize we were five years old here – also – not really an insult.”

Tony flipped him off. “Whatever.”

“You’re wigging out and it’s exactly what I was worried about.”

Tony tensed his jaw. “I’m not even. And stop worrying about me – you’re like an old grandmother.”

“I can’t stop worrying about you – it’s basically impossible. Just ask Pepper.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Great, that’s two old ladies.”

“I’ll let her know you said that – what the hell?”

“What?” Tony turned to look at his friend, then blinked rapidly and swiveled back to stare out the window again. “You see something?”

Rhodes squinted. “That car,” He pointed, allowing Tony’s eyes to follow his finger. “Seems a little out of place, don’t you think?”

Tony saw what Rhodes was referring to. A glossy black car that seemed to be fresh off the lot was parked right outside the apartment complex. The windows were tinted a thick black, the engine still running. As Tony looked over it, examining further, Rhodey gasped softly.

“Well would ya look at that, Tony,”

Tony glanced over at Rhodey who was smiling a little, and then back outside. When he did, he gasped even louder and felt his stomach swoop. A middle-school aged boy with wavy brown hair was clambering down the apartment steps. He was thin, and seemed to be a little short for his age. A worn out grey hoodie was hanging over his torso, with even scruffier sneakers to match. He held his palm up to the sky when he reached the stairs’ bottom, feeling the raindrops that fell there. Even with the rain, he didn’t put his hood on. Instead, he looked up at the sky, breathed in the wet air, and started on his way.

Tony was transfixed at the sight of him. He couldn’t believe that right there, just a few yards away, was a little person that he’d actually helped create. Granted, he hadn’t really _done_ anything, but still. That kid had his genes. And boy, could he tell. Even from a ways away, Tony could see his face in Peter’s. The eyes, the peaked nose, the skin tone, even the eyebrows. They were all so similar. He wondered if their personalities were similar as well.

“Jesus Christ,” Tony scrubbed at his face. “Fuck, Rhodes, that’s my fucking kid right there,”

Rhodey laughed slightly. “It’s insane – whoa, whoa,”

Tony sat up straight. “The hell!” The black car had begun moving – slowly inching after Peter’s lively walk. “We’ve gotta follow them!”

“We can’t,” Rhodes was biting the inside of his cheek. “They’ll know we’re on to them.”

“Well we can’t let them follow the kid. Fucking creeps.” Tony plunged the keys into the ignition.

“Tony – wait –”

But Tony had already begun driving. He zoomed throughout the emerging traffic and tailed the car right up to its break lights. Rhodey leaned over in his seat, trying to gauge the other driver’s reactions.

“I can’t get a look at them at all,” Rhodes said.

“Damn tinted windows – I didn’t even think it was legal to make them that dark.”

Tony felt a flash of foreign protective anger pulse through him when he saw little Peter look over his shoulder worriedly at the following car. He quickened his pace. Tony got even closer to the car.

Rhodey inhaled a quick breath as Tony accelerated. “Tony! You’re gonna hit!”

“That’s the plan.”

“You’re kidding. _Cool_ it. They might not even be after him.”

“Yeah right. I’m sure they –” The black car halted abruptly. “Fuck!” Tony slammed the brakes.

The driver of the other car erratically zoomed forward in a heartbeat, then made a sharp right turn away from the curb and Peter. It curved further into a U-turn and joined the other side of traffic. Tony was caught between wanting to continue following them, and making sure his kid made it safely to school.

“Dammit,” He breathed, looking at the retreating car, and his walking son. He squeezed his eyes shut. “ _Dammit,”_ Unlike usual, he wouldn’t be able to follow. There was something more important now.

Rhodey was gaping at Tony with wild eyes. “What are you doing? You’re not going to follow them?”

Tony clenched and unclenched on the wheel in frustration. God he already cared about the kid so much. “I can’t, Rhodes,” He muttered sulkily. “Gotta make sure the damn boy gets to school.”

*

_“PETER!”_

_God, help him. Someone help him –_

_“PETER!!!”_

_His uncle’s screech rang through the worn down apartment. The sound raised an automatic panic in Peter’s stomach. A heavy alcoholic smell filtered into his bedroom, alerting him that he was really in for it tonight._

_All he could do was sit scrunched up in his closet, knees to chest, and hope Ben forgot about him. He closed his eyes tight and prayed that he could be all right – that he could make it –_

_But like everything else he said – no one heard his prayers._

_No one ever heard him._

_“There you are, you worthless little shit,”_

_His closet door was slammed open. Peter tried to curl into his small corner more, but was wrenched out by his uncle’s rough grip._

_He was dragged out of his room by the hair. “No! No – Ben!” Frantically the fluttered his hands over Ben’s, trying to pull them away. “Please –”_

_A sharp slap rang across Peter’s face. He cried out, falling to the ground with a whimper. Ben laughed._

_“It’s never a surprise with you,” He spat at his fallen nephew. “You’re the weakest little fuck I’ve ever met. You don’t even put up a fight.”_

_Peter stayed on the ground with his face buried in his hands. He never spoke much when Ben got like this, because what was the point? It was all true. He was weak, he was worthless, he didn’t matter. Why argue with accuracy?_

_As Ben continued to scream and slap, it chipped away more and more of Peter._

*

Slowly, it became a routine. Every day when Peter left for school, Tony was there. And once 3:15 hit and Peter set off for home, Tony was there again. How could he not? What would he ever do if the kid got snatched?

It was a SHIELD issue at this point. Rhodey, always the rule follower, made sure to report the problem to their headquarters. Now there were dozens upon dozens of agents researching anyone that might want to harm Tony – and ultimately Peter Parker.

The situation was strange, Tony thought to himself. All these people were working to keep the boy safe, and Tony was watching him to and from school every day. But Peter didn’t have a clue. Everyday he walked up and down the sidewalks, rain or shine, in those scruffy sneakers and sweet temperament. He seemed to be a kind kid – quiet, noticing the small things like flowers in pots or mists of rain. But he also appeared drawn most of the time. Tony hadn’t really seen him smile yet. But maybe that was because the only times he saw the kid were when he was going to school.

He yearned to speak to him, hear his voice, ask him a million questions. He wanted to sit next to him and talk for hours upon hours – something he’d never wanted with anyone else before.

The opportunity to discover the sound of his son’s words came sooner than he thought, and in circumstances that were less than ideal.

It was another drizzly day. Although the raindrops were small, the heavy winds blew Tony’s kid backwards all the way to school. God, what he would’ve given to get that boy a damn ride.

Then, like a literal flash of lightning, he was gone. Tony blinked, stunned at the action. He’d looked down at his phone for just a second while Peter walked behind some bushes and that was it. His son didn’t come out the other side.

Hot, terrible panic rose instantly up Tony’s neck and to his face. Frantically, he pulled the car into a park along the sidewalk and jumped out.

“Shit, shit, shit,” He whispered to himself, peering around the bushes. No Peter. “ _Shit,”_ Why had he looked away? He knew someone was out to get the kid – why hadn’t he paid closer attention?

“Fuck me,” He turned in a crazed circle – trying to see if he’d missed anything. “I’m already the worst father ever.”

Then, from behind, there was a tiny, high-pitched squeal. It was muffled and cut short, but Tony heard. He whipped around, breathing heavy, and saw a small indent in the graffiti decorated wall along the sidewalk. Carefully, he pressed the ring on this finger, which morphed an iron glove up his arm and ultimately over his chest and neck.

A familiar clicking noise sounded as soon as he rounded to the other side of the wall. His eyes found a cocked gun pointed between his eyes, and a large man holding Peter by the throat.

“Really?” Tony voiced with a cool dryness, although he felt like exploding underneath. “You’re gonna _shoot_ me? How stupid are you?”

“How fucking stupid are _you_?” The man rasped. Tony winced at the harsh wording around such a small kid. “I’ll blow his head up if you come any closer!”

Tony blinked at that and took in the situation a little better. Peter’s young face was a chalky white, with transfixing brown eyes that were large in a sweet, childish way. They also conveyed terror. The man who held him was so thick that his hand fit all the way around Peter’s throat. He was a huge man, with ratted hair pulled in a ponytail and a crazed facial expression.

“You do anything to him, your leverage is gone and _you’re_ gone,” Tony spat. “I’ll kill you on the spot if you hurt him.”

The man smiled a little. It was a twisted sight. “So you do know,” He breathed softly. “We all thought you did – some doubted, but I knew you got the memo –”

Tony set his jaw in anger, hating being antagonized. He held his palm closer to the man’s face, the light of Iron Man shining on his skin.

He twisted Peter’s head up to look at him. “You hear that kid?” He sneered at Peter. “You daddy doesn’t want you hurt – how sweet –”

At last, Peter’s face changed. The fear was still there, but a little crease of confusion formed between his eyebrows. “My – what?” He looked up at Tony. “That’s not my dad – that’s Iron Man.”

“Iron Man – your daddy – it’s all the same here, kid –”

“Enough,” Tony said harshly. “I want you to drop the gun right –”

A streak of engines squealed in Tony’s ears then. From above, swiftly, came War Machine (not Iron Patriot, fuck that) whipping the gun from the man’s hand, and lifting the rest of him with it.

Tony moved quickly. He reached forward and wrapped his hands under Peter’s arms, lifting him up and swinging the boy around to rest on his own hip. Together the two looked up to see Rhodey in his own suit crunch the gun in an iron fist and take the man on a rooftop.

“Great timing, as always buddy,” Tony told his friend into his own comms.

He could practically hear the eye roll in Rhodey’s tone. “Yeah – next time tell me where you’re going asshole.”

“Noted.”

“Jesus _Christ,_ Tony,”

“Sorry, man. I really didn’t plan on getting involved – seriously.”

Rhodes sighed. “Sure.”

Tony tried to glance up at his friend and his son’s attacker. “Could you take care of him for me? I’ve gotta make sure the kid is –”

“Yeah I got it,” Rhodey clipped. “Take him _home_ Tony. Be smart about all this, please –”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got –”

A small, wary voice interrupted him. “Um – excuse me? Mr. – um – Iron Man?”

Tony jerked his eyes over to meet Peter’s. He held him in his arms, up on his side, like you’d normally hold a little child. But – honestly, Peter seemed so _little_. His thin arms wrapped around Tony’s neck and his knees dug into his ribs.

He could hardly breathe at the sight of him. There was no way to describe the feeling of looking into a face that was so similar to his own. A small person that was half him – it was incredible.

“Sorry kid,” Tony said gently. “I was just talking to my old pal War Machine –”

“Oh,” Peter nearly whispered. His jaw trembled a little. “Um, could you – could you maybe put me down?”

“Right,” Tony answered quickly. “Sorry – sorry, kid,” He loosened his arms and let Peter slide down to the ground, while still keeping a hand on his shoulder.

Peter swayed a little when his feet hit the concrete. He looked from the left to the right nervously. His hands shook. Tony stared at him, overwhelmed with concern.

“You’re okay,” He attempted to reassure, but it sounded wooden coming from his mouth. “Hey,” Tony knelt down on the damp sidewalk so he was more eye level with Peter. “Are you hurt at all?”

The kid’s chin still trembled, yet he shook his head. The rest of his body had small tremors of cold that seemed to run up and down. Tony instantly slipped his jacket off and wrapped it around Peter’s shoulders.

“Thank you,” Peter’s voice was small. “Are you – you’re –” He shook his head a little and blinked multiple times. “You’re _Iron Man_ ,”

Tony couldn’t believe he was actually hearing his kid’s voice. It was simple and clear. He wished Peter would talk more.

A small smile upturned the right side of Tony’s cheek. “Sure am, bud.”

Peter tried to smile back, but his poor chin trembled even harder. Shiny tears sprang up in his big eyes, causing his face to redden.

“Shoot – hey, hey,” Tony placed his hand on Peter’s other shoulder. “It’s all right kiddo, don’t cry –”

“I’m not,” Peter answered breathily, swiping at his eyes. “I just – I’m fine –”

“It’s okay to cry. I do it all the time.”

Peter looked at him, his face skeptical. “Yeah, sure.”

Tony chuckled. Snarky kid. “You really not hurt?” He eyed a bruise that seemed to be forming just above Peter’s collarbone. “What’s this --?”

Peter backed away when Tony reached out to touch it. “Nothing,” He answered hastily. “It doesn’t hurt.”

Tony bit his lip, and did his best not to overstep. “Right. You’re pretty calm for almost getting kidnapped.”

“Was I getting kidnapped?”

“Well, yeah, that guy was – you were –” Tony sighed and stood up. “We’ve kinda got some things to talk about. Come on, kid – I’ll take you home.”

Peter shook his head. “No – no, I –” It almost looked like there was dread in his eyes. “I’ve got, um –” He gulped. “ – um – school.”

Tony placed an arm over the kid’s shoulders. “Yeah – there’s something slightly more important than school right now, kid.” Peter’s face was bewildered. “Sorry – this must be confusing.”

Peter raised his eyebrows. “Yeah – but it’s okay. You’re Iron Man.”

Something warm bubbled in Tony’s chest. “And?”

The kid shrugged his skinny shoulders. “And – I dunno,” His eyes shone at Tony. “That means I can trust you.”

Tony almost bawled.

Because, fuck.

He had the cutest kiddo in the world.


End file.
